I am constantly being told to forgive those that hurt and damaged me. To be honest I don't feel my forgiveness is merited for them; they don't deserve it. In my eyes to forgive it would have to be and act that is not so directly sinful. Whether you believe in God or any other higher source or power there are "laws" in place on how to live a fulfilling sin free life by obeying the requests. Now why give the gift of forgiveness when the ones that hurt me caused direct sin and that is living against the wishes of God (higher source or power). I was actually told and am learning that forgiveness is not for everyone which is why I started divulging into what it takes to forgive, what does it mean and what do I get/feel in return. I realized after much therapy forgiving for me would be like just giving them a free hall pass for what was done and, in the end, I'm still hurt, and the repressed emotions are still there; forgiveness does not remove that.
I want to put it out there that yes for some of us that were hurt forgiveness can be very healing and remove all the heavy weight of hurt away from you but there are some of us where forgiving really just won't make a difference. Don't feel guilty because forgiveness will not change anything for you; it just means those others need to find their own forgiveness from another source. Be strong in your emotions, own your feelings, own your hurt and grow to be stronger and confident.
I'm not saying this realization will heal you instantly but knowing that maybe forgiveness is not your responsibility can help and takes away the guilt of being hurt by those we loved. I make the mistake all the time to give chance after chance for loved ones because I firmly believe people can change but let's be honest ... some people will just be who they are a**holes! (Sorry for the language it was the best choice). Knowing that i am no longer responsible to forgive I can continue to live my life and to heal because i know i will be loved and protected and that's what matters most!
Let's all live our best life! Positive vibes all around.
Mara
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