It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. So much has changed. I moved and not only did I move I went somewhere where I know nobody and have nobody around. It’s a lot tougher than I thought but I’ve learned during this last year.
I used to think I understood loneliness but now I truly understand loneliness on a deeper level. Spending a full year eating all my meals alone; eventually I started skipping meals because it just became so overwhelming never having someone to share conversation with over dinner.
Things I used to enjoy I no longer enjoy; my focus isn’t there anymore. And when I think about why it’s because who do I share with? I’m so excited about this book but nobody to share the excitement. I’m heavily invested in some random show but nobody to share my thoughts or reaction.
Deep loneliness is something I never expected. It feels surreal. There’s days where reality and daydreaming crash and it’s hard to distinguish anything in those moments.
Anyways just needed to talk didn’t know where else to go to vent
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